>> i have to say, that's some of the play by play announcing i've heard. they were concise. they were incisive. they showed enthusiasm without playing favorites. they would make a great broadcast team, those two. i would like to see them call a game for the ncaa tournament. wouldn't that be great? >> oh [ bleep ]! [ bleep ]! >> oh! >> oh! beep bleep! >> after a dunk like that, the announcers should -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's march madness. you didn't fill out a bracket, it's too late. although you could still throw $10 in the garbage disposal and

run it. my alma mater is playing right now, unlv. what is the score of the game right now? >> 42-37, cal. >> jimmy: oh. all right. well, i had a hard time focusing on work today. i'm going to have a hard time focusing during the show. between march madness, facebook, twit. they say the average worker will work a total of 12 minutes over the next three weeks. i always feel kind of bad for people who don't watch college basketball. it's no fun to be the only one in your office who isn't following the tournament. even more so than most sports, college basketball can leave you feeling very left out. and that's no good in the work place. so for those of you who aren't particularly basketball savvy, we put together this video that i hope will help. >> it's march madness season, but you don't care about sborts. never fear, just follow this handy guide on how to pretend you care about college basketball.

>> i think if memphis hits this one it's over for st. mary. >> first, nod in silence as the games are being discussed. >> tough shot. >> chime in occasionally. >> yeah, totally. they need those shot points. >> use specific lingo. >> got to get that rock into the paint clay. >> nicely done. next, talk about your bracket picks. >> i got inn i goidiana going a way. who do you got? >> oh, man. hogwarts. >> know the teams. i mean, acorn. >> akron. >> yes, akron going to play the basketball. >> you're getting there. and finally, show excitement and enthusiasm. >> yeah! >> yeah, points!

>> great job. and that's how you pretend to care about college basketball. now let's have a cheer. >> go. >> jimmy: hey, here's something if you have a dog you might be interested in. a company called dog nation just launched an iq online test for your dog. your dog drinks out of the toilet. it's not that smart. it cover understanding hand jes churs and learning words. it's actually a secret iq test for humans. if you pay $60 to give your dog an iq test, you failed. we really don't need to give dogs a test to find out if they're smart. they lay around all day at work. then when we come home, we feed

them and pick up their pop. compared to us, they're geniuses. compared to d speaking of dogs, this is a painting today. can anyone guess who painted it? there's a little 43 in the corner. it was painted by former president george w. bush. our 43rd president. for real. last month, a hacker broke into his sister's e-mail account and found the president had e-mailed a bunch of pictures of paintings he made. the website gawker released the photographs. and there he is. look how proud he is. he's been taking lessons. there was an interview with his art teacher. she said the president made about 50 paintings of dogs. can you imagine being that teacher? oh, another dog. well, let geese hang this by the other 49 paintings of dogs. painting is actually a common hobby among world leaders.

this landscape was painted by winston churchill. this is a barn painted by dwight eisenhower. even president joe biden takes time out to paint. he got a gold star. more of a drawing, i guess. let's look at more of the bush paintings. because this is a president bush painting. i don't know if they're seashells or uncooked loins of meat. and look at this one. this one is thee matical icathe. the cat got stuck in what looked like a pumpkin. i think this is about the war in afghan stap. we are the cat and they are the pumpkin. not all of these paintings are cute. some are down right sexy like this portrait of vice president cheney washing a classic car. or water boarding it. it's hard to tell. i love the idea that george bush is at home painting pictures of

pets now. i really -- it tickles me to no end. let's play a little game here. i'm going to show you a painting. you tell me if it was painting by former president bush or a child. we went online and we found some paintings made by little kids and let's see if you can tell which are which. ready? was this dog painted by a president or a kid? >> kid. >> jimmy: all right. it could be a bear drowning in a lake of mountain dew. i'm not sure. this was painted by a kid, yes. it was a kid. what about this one? two dogs. you're recognizing his style, aren't you? that's by president bush. let's mix it up a little. we've got a cat here. it looks like it's possessed by satan or something. bush or a kid? >> kid. >> bush. >> jimmy: most people say a kid. a couple say bush.

a kid did that one. >> all right, another cat painting. >> bush. . >> jimmy: that is right. this is a still life. a cross between two potted plants. painted by a child or president bush? >> bush. that is president bush's work. and one more. participanted by president bush or a child? >> jimmy: that was a kid, that one. that was a kid, yeah. that was fun, right? i would like to own an original bush. they're expensive. some of them go for upwards of $40. if you live here in los angeles, you may remember voting on measure b in november. this was the law that requires

actors in pornographic films in l.a. to wear condoms on the job. there's been a lot of opposition to measure b. opponents say it sends jobs out of the city. and film makers are reluctant to shoot here now because they say the condoms make the sex scene less real. there's suddenly a need for authenticity that doesn't extend to breast. i don't know why we need to shoot more -- don't we have another porn to last another 800,000 years? isn't there a stockpile? anyway, the first violation of measure b was reported over the weekend. an adult film company called immoral production allegedly let their actors perform condom free. if you can't trust the guys at immoral fro ductions. someone actually wrote an anonymous letter detailing the violations. i would love to meet the dweeb who did that. i am appalled at what i saw

while i was trying to watch porn. now the city will review it and decide whether to file charges. hey, steve, we're going to need you to stay late tonight to watch porn. if you see anyone without a condom, call me at home, okay? hey, what's the score, by the way? of the game? give me a good one or you're fired. what? 48-22? they lost points? oh, 48-42. all right. this week unnecessary censorship for you. ellen pompeo, the bachelor and current dancing star sean lowe and music from lianna la havas. relax, stay right there. e la ha. relax, stay right there. easter's here! and we're talking with laura about the walmart low price guarantee, backed by ad match. their ad price is ten for ten dollars, walmart's everyday low price is lower than their sale price. that's awesome! green bean casserole

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>> jimmy: welcome back. ellen pompeo, music from lianne la havas and he's currently pursuing a ball on "dancing with the stars." sean lowe is here. he completed the whole bachelor season, but we were just starting to see it. and at that time, i correctly predicted who his final four favorite women would be. all four of them i got right. and i also correctly predicted that he would choose katherine. i am a genius, true, sean? >> that is true. >> thank you very much. i have three big questions to ask you tonight. i want you to write these down. i want you to think about them. here's the three questions. you've been called a born again virgin. i want details on how that works and how long it's been. all right?

number two, do you believe abc is trying to destroy your relationship with katherine by preparing you with peter. also, can you spell pete peter murgatroyd and three, what does will harris smell like. and don't try to escape out the bathroom window. we have guards stationed at the exit. now, sean is saving himself for marriage, we know that. but his lips have not been saving themselves. in fact, to celebrate sean's engagement and his appearance on the show tonight, we put together a montage of all the women he made out with this season. enjoy. >> there we go. there we go. >> mmm.

>> that was amazing. >> no, you're amazing. >> jimmy: that was amazing. jo sean, one more question. did guillermo's moustache tickle when you kissed him? >> it did. >> jimmy: you don't have to write that down. he's quite a catch, congratulations. it's thursday night, time for our weekly tribute to the sec where we bleep and blur things. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> it's the first day of spring and i expected you two to be in

your [ bleep ] suits today. >> four days on the job and pope francis is already [ bleep ] things up. >> the stop and [ bleep ] policy went on trial today. >> i guess it wasn't a well kept secret but yes, i am [ bleep ] tiger woods. >> you have a great, huge big [ bleep ] i know that. >> we are a nation of [ bleep ] zombies. >> and erson cooper came out lat july. >> you don't mind [ bleep ] and taking it on the chin. >> you don't have to be a super hero. you're a super [ bleep ] squirrel. >> we are the ones paying for someone to [ bleep ] the president's dog. paying for someone to [ bleep ] the president's dog? >> when you suck on a [ bleep ] too much or too hard you're going to create lines around the mouth. >> we'll be right back we're going to keep [ bleep ] each other. >> i thought maybe you could

[ bleep ] me, alan. >> wait, me [ bleep ] you? >> oh, i feel like i'm -- something is happening. >> jimmy: oh, alan. i'm really sorry. thank goodness you're imaginary. we have a very good show tonight. the bachelor sean lowe is here. we have music tonight from lianne la havas. we will be right back from ellen pompeo from "gray's anatomy." go olive garden! bring your appetite. bring someone who shares your appetite. for our 2 for $25 italian dinner. start with unlimited soup or salad. then choose an appetizer to share. now for the main course, choose 2 of 5 new creations, like new tuscan garlic chicken.

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>> jimmy: hi there. welcome tonight on the program. we watched him love, we watched him shower. former bachelor and current dancing star sean lowe is here. and then is your love big enough, lianne la havas from the sony stage. very strong lineup for you. next week, bruce willis will be here, as will duane johnson, celebrity diver kareem abdul-jabbar will be here. music from dustin lynch, divine finch and even more than that,

too. so join us next week. earlier tonight, our first guesguest learned the gender of her prime time fetus and it's a boy. please welcome ellen pompeo. >> how are you? >> i'm great. >> jimmy: you look fantastic. to have a baby. do we say congratulations? >> she's 3 now, jimmy. >> jimmy: i'm talking about meredith gray's baby on the show. >> oh, oh. >> jimmy: you haven't been watching, have you? you don't know what's going on. >> you caught me. >> jimmy: we found out your character is having a boy. >> right, yes. >> jimmy: i guess it's all made

up so it doesn't matter. >> everything is made up. nothing matters. it doesn't have to make sense. >> jimmy: i'm so glad you said that because i have something to ask you and something to run by you. and i would like you to consider it seriously if you would. >> so excited. >> jimmy: i would like to play your baby. when the sbababy is revealed. >> does that mean we get to cuddle? >> jimmy: we'll do a lot more than that. you can change me and everything. so the baby comes out and there's this beautiful moment. and tears are being shed all over the united states. and then we see the baby and it's me. like a miniature version of me or whatever. and i'm, like, a crazy demon baby. is i'll be going wild. i think you could spice things up in a very big way. >> i do, too. >> jimmy: not to mention, naked, i'm adorable. adorable.

can you run this -- should we call her now? >> we shouldn't call her now. >> jimmy: later? >> maybe she'll have a couple of glasses of wine and she'll be more receptive to the idea. >> jimmy: will you present this idea favorably? >> of course. >> jimmy: you will? you'll try to sell it? >> i'm very fond of you. >> jimmy: good. because i would love you to be my tv mommy. >> no breast feeding, right? >> jimmy: yes, there is. oh, yes. >> we might have a problem with that. >> jimmy: they'll understand. it's all make believe. it's all fine. your husband chris who takes you to lakers games, who actually gave you, as i recall, and i could be mistaken, was a birthday gift or a valentine's day gift? >> all of them. >> jimmy: he gives you tickets to basketball games. because he wants to go to the basketball game. >> this year for my birthday, i got season court side seats to

the brooklyn nets. >> jimmy: in brooklyn? >> yeah, like 60 games. >> jimmy: how many games have you been able to attend? >> me, two. him, a lot more. >> jimmy: this is like when homer bought marge the bowling ball that said homer on it. this is unacceptable. >> he's a smooth dude. >> jimmy: you're okay with that? >> for his birthdays do you get him something you would enjoy? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you do? like what? >> sexual favors. >> jimmy: oh, okay. it makes more sense. do your wrap those? or do they -- when you meet people, and i'm sure when you're out in public, people say i love "gray's anatomy" what percentage are women and what percentage of men? >> mostly women. a lot of men, but the men more

tend to remember me from "old school." >> jimmy: the movie "old school"? >> yes. >> jimmy: i feel like i'm coming up on the anniversary. >> jimmy: how long has it been? >> so years. -- ten years. >> jimmy: do you keep in touch with those people? >> no, but i love todd phillips who directed it. i see him out. i see snoop out at laker games. >> jimmy: that's right, snoop was in that movie, too. >> you smell snoop before you see him. and you see the cloud of smoke. and then there he appears. >> jimmy: is that where you met snoop on the set of "old school." >> it is. >> jimmy: what was that like? that was your impression of snoop when you met him? >> at first i thought the trailer was on fire. all this smoke coming out. and then you realize it's just snoop. and then he came out and did -- you know, he has a scene in the movie where he sings a sopng. he was in the trailer for hours.

no fire trucks came out. and he did that song in one take. didn't make one mistake. >> jimmy: as far as you know. he left kwun f-word out. was that movie fun to make? >> it was fun. it was a boy's club. i was the one girl. >> jimmy: speaking of boy's club, i have a picture of you at -- which game is this? >> this was last sunday. stella's first laker game. >> jimmy: this is your daughter's first laker game. she looks like she's really enjoying herself. >> she was really enamored with the seats we sit in generally are under the basket. so the cheerleaders sit right in front of us. which is not annoying at all. and she was really enamored with the cheerleaders because they wear the sparkly costume. so she thought they were princesses. she kept saying mama, look at the princesses. >> jimmy: this isn't a kardashian mother you ear talking to here, is it? >> no, no, not at all.

that is jeffrey cassenberg's wife who is an absolutely gorgeous woman. >> are you saying kris jenner isn't? i think we have a scandal on our hands. we better take a break. this could get ugly. we'll be right back. ♪

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>> jimmy: now, we were talking about your husband before. you guys grew up how far away each other? >> very close. we grew up basically in adjoining towns. >> jimmy: did you know each other when you were kids? >> not when we were kids. but teenagers, i knew of him. we didn't really know each other, but we definitely knew of each other. we had mutual friends. >> jimmy: you reconnected where? >> out here in los angeles. my best friend patrice was -- i was with her out here. we were in whole foods and we bumped into him. >> jimmy: the supermarket? >> we bumped into him. >> jimmy: what section were you in? >> we were in the coffee section. we were having an argument about what we were going to have for dinner that night. he heard her voice. she has a really distinctive voice. i heard the boston accent and i

ran. >> jimmy: why? >> because i didn't want anything to do with anyone from boston. i was trying to get away from that. >> jimmy: we met someone in the audience from boston earlier. and i know exactly what you're talking about. >> mayor bloomberg did he officiate your wedding? >> he did. ''s from an adjoining town. and just the idea of doing it in new york city at city hall, very privately so we could have it sort of to ourselves. >> jimmy: how do you ask the mayor if he'll do something like that. that's kind of a big -- i would imagine he's pretty selective about that. >> yeah. well, i -- luckily enough, he had done it for matt damon.

>> jimmy: i don't know who that is. i'm getting uncomfortable all of a sudden. he said we just did this for matt. we can do this for you, too. in order to have a private moment for the two of you, away from the media. that's what we want. it's a very private moment. so she helped us facilitate that. >> jimmy: whereas matt likes to be out in front of everyone. >> won't keep his clothes on. >> jimmy: publicity hog. kind of a jerk. >> not a nice guy. ugly, too. not talented. should we send him something? sympathy cards? >> jimmy: i sent him plenty. don't worry. this is nine seasons for "gray's anatomy." have you felt that with all the horrible things that happen with your character, you would be killed off? or are you comfortable that because it's called "gray's anatomy" like they couldn't cut cosby off "the cosby show." >> you always know it's a

renegotiation year when there's nine of us laying on the ground in a plane crash and we're all blue. we kind of know. >> jimmy: that's a good inside tip. >> the ax is coming down. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with sean lowe from "dancing with the stars." when a car has a range of engines... from the fuel-efficient ecoboost... to a plug-in hybrid with an epa-estimated 108 city mpge, it eliminates everything else from the picture. introducing the entirely new ford fusion. an entirely new idea of what a car can be. and our newest entrees are just bursting with the "jazzed-up" flavor of bourbon street.

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>> jimmy: we're back. lianne la hamas is on the way. only days away from finding his true love, our next guest is back on the air in a quest for a greater prize, the coveted mirrored ball trophy or something like that. the newly engage the bachelor turned freshly tanned dancing star. please welcome sean lowe. [ applause ] well, ice been what, ten days

since the finale of the bachelor. are you and catherine still together? >> we're still together. happily engaged. >> jimmy: i told you that if you wished hard enough and you took your shirt off enough time, true love would find you and sure enough it did. >> you're right. >> jimmy: are you living together now? >> we're living in the same city. we're not living together. >> jimmy: wow. we're really taking it seriously. >> we're taking the old fashioned approach. >> jimmy: you did not use the term born again virgin? >> i never used the term, no. >> jimmy: let's use it tonight. is it a thing? or did someone make it up specifically for you? >> i don't know. i've heard the term quite a bit lately. i never used it. but here's the deal. people give me crap all the time about my beliefs and how i've handled myself, but the ratings this year were phenomenal. we had the best ratings than we've had in a long time. >> jimmy: who gives you crap

about it? >> well, people. yeah. >> jimmy: i want you to stay away from our women. i think this is a good thing. you being off the field, you know? i think it frees up a lot more women for everyone else. >> yeah. but maybe the show was geared towards the sexier size than seasons past. this year, probably more towards romance and actually finding love and america responded. >> jimmy: and you showering constantly. >> gratuitous shirtless scene. >> jimmy: i would like to have seen that scene play out. you were there, you know what's going on, right? and at certain poichbts do you guy okay, do you have enough of me lathering up? >> yeah, it was ridiculous. the only person in the room at the time was a camera woman who happens to be a lesbian. it's okay. she's not really catching a peek or anything like that. it was just the two of us. i was showering, getting ready for the day. they asked, do you mind if a camera woman comes in? >> jimmy: then you realize they sent it to an editing room and

11 editors put it together. >> she swears she didn't go below the waist. i' going to have to take her word for it. >> jimmy: oh, you were naked? >> yeah. i was showering, getting ready for the day. >> jimmy: wow. so you actually participated in soft core pornography and yet you will not make love to the beautiful catherine. >> it will come, once we get married. >> jimmy: everyone is uncomfortably sitting there after you said that. catherine is here, right? hi, catherine, how are you? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: what do you think of this whole thing? this whole living in separate places thing? are you for that? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: you are? >> yeah. >> jimmy: aren't you guys going cra crazy? >> no. well, crazy in other ways. >> jimmy: not in that way like you can't wait to get your hands all over each other. i'm sitting next to him and i can barely keep my hands off of

him. >> i didn't know anything about the shower scene. that was awesome. >> jimmy: have you seen things that upset you as you watched the show? >> no. honestly, it's been great to relive our dates. and the girls are my friends. >> jimmy: will any of them be at the wedding? >> maybe. >> jimmy: will any of them be in the bridal party? >> i've asked permission if we can have some of the girls there. >> jimmy: is that right? so women we have videotape of sean making out with are going to be at your wedding? >> that's how cool she is. she's not cool about guillermo showing up, though. >> jimmy: he's a married man. this is very interesting, i think. you must be really anxious to get married then, right? >> of course, look at her. >> jimmy: exactly. doesn't this kind of rush things a little bit? do you worry that it makes you more impulsive than you would be? >> no, no. we've got a great relationship.

i'm not worrying about rushing it or feeling any type of pressure that way. >> jimmy: you're very calm. are you on medication of some kind? >> strong sedative. >> jimmy: now, when you were here, i mentioned earlier in january, i predicted that you would pick catherine. let's show the videotape of that. i believe this will be your pick, gacatherine, the graphic designer. yes? what were you thinking when i said that to you. t >> the day i proposed to her, i thought jimmy got this right. it's amazing. >> jimmy: isn't it impressive that i would know this and i can't pick one loud zi game in the [ bleep ] ncaa tournament going on under my desk right now? you are now on "dancing with the stars" which i believe is -- you

said the ratings were very good and that's true. i think it might be a devious plot on the part of abc to break you and catherine up so you can be a bachelor again for them. and some of these photographs don't really dissuade me from that minute. what's going on here exactly. what the hell is this? >> we got a competition on who could take the goofiest picture. we thought maybe we can act like koalas and take this picture. >> jimmy: and then this photograph, is this how you guys nap? >> we have nicknamed ourself team murgalo. and that's us doing the murgalo. we're trying to make it catch on so hopefully the kids in school will start doing it and taking pictures. >> jimmy: it looks like the worm if it stopped halfway through

it. now catherine, is she all right with the fact that you're -- despite the fact that you refuse to make sweet, sweet love to her, dancing with peter murgatroyd every week? >> she's cool with girls i made out with coming to our wedding. she's cool. she knows it's just dancing. >> jimmy: is it just dancing? you must be like a rocket ready to go off. and there is a lot of intense -- i mean, between catherine and peta. i wouldn't drive with you. let's put it that way. but no problems there? >> no problems whatsoever. peta is more like a sister. we joke around and stuff like that. >> jimmy: you do that with your sister? there's no chemistry, sexual chemistry there whatsoever. >> jimmy: you don't find her attractive? >> she's a good looking girl. but look who i have as a fiancee

out there. >> jimmy: all right. i think we learned nothing. i don't know what's going ton with you two. i would like to get a few drinks in you and really investigate what's going on. will you be getting married on television? >> yeah. they foot the bill for the whole thing. >> jimmy: put the honeymoon on television. don't care about the wedding. we want to see what happens when the two of you get in that room and bam! abc after dark. i would like you to do that on our show. you will have the wedding on the air in prime time and then late night is when the action really happens. all right? would you like to make love here on our stage? >> i would give it some thought. >> jimmy: he's accepted. all right. very good. "dancing with the stars" monday at 8:00, right back.

>> jimmy: here with the song "lost and find, lianne la havas! ♪ come upstair and i'll show you ♪ ♪ where all my ♪ where my demons hide from you ♪ ♪ just look at who i have become ♪ ♪ i am so ashamed you were the one ♪ ♪ that made me feel the way i do ♪ ♪ you broke me and taught me to truly hate myself ♪

♪ unfold me and teach me ♪ how to be like somebody else ♪ and i felt strong enough ♪ i was discovered by the love ♪ i had been waiting for so long ♪ ♪ you told me none of that was real ♪ ♪ i cannot hide how low i feel to know that you were never wrong ♪

♪ you broke me and taught me to truly hate myself ♪ ♪ unfold me and teach me ♪ how to be like somebody else oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ oh yeah ♪ you are lost and found falling out my baby ♪ ♪ broken down broken down ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ you broke me and taught me to truly hate myself ♪ ♪ unfold me and teach me how to be like somebody else ♪ ♪ you broke me and taught me ♪ to truly hate myself unfold me and teach me ♪

♪ how to be like somebody el else ♪ >> jimmy: lianne la havas. i want to thank ellen pompeo, sean lowe. i want to apologize to matt damon. "nightline" is next. good night.